Anyone else confused about when to praise a child…if ever? When to reinforce something? What about punishment?
Wow…supporting children who are experiencing big emotions is not for the faint of heart that’s for sure.
And it seems everyone (including me) has an opinion on how to “weather the storm”.
In this PreK Teach and Play podcast episode, Alyssa Blask Campbell, Laura Fish, Dr. Shauna Tominey and I dig deep into what we mean when we use phrases like praise, rewards, and punishment. We also work really hard to share practical ideas to help teachers and parents support young children’s development and to weather the storm of big emotions.
During our conversation, we examine…
- How to avoid teaching compliance over connection
- Why our own emotional responses to undesired behaviors can result in both children and ourselves becoming dysregulated
- How traditional views on praise, rewards, and punishment need a makeover…where our aim is to help the child develop, not manage their behavior.
Key take aways…
And while we share many tips and suggestions…we all agree on the need to hone our own awareness of what is going on (for ourselves and our children) and for co-regulating when supporting children’s emerging ability to self-regulate.
Listen Now
Click here to download the transcript for this episode.
SHOW NOTES
Creating Compassionate Kids: This is the webpage for Dr. Shauna Tominey, who is an author and speaker who blends practical experience with research to develop and test programs aimed at promoting social-emotional skills for children and adults.
Seed & Sew: The homepage for Alyssa Blask Campbell’s Seed & Sew’s website provides an overview of the topics, tools, and support you can find there.
- Seed & Sew Certification Program: An online professional development training that gives your teachers the support they need to implement their lessons.
Laura Fish Therapy: This website for Laura Fish features video snapshots from trainings offered, articles, podcasts, and more free resources. Laura’s work focuses on teaching and parenting with the brain in mind to help adults see the child behind the behavior.
- All About PDA: Positive Descriptive Acknowledgement: Unpacks what is meant by PDA and PDA Plus, how it differs from praise, and why it benefits children.
- PDA and PDA Plus- Tips for Implementation: Provides tips for transitioning from praise to PDA or PDA Plus.
Alfie Kohn website: This page offers access to everything Alfie has to offer, from books, to articles, to blogs, and/or recordings and DVDs.
- Check out this very interesting conversation Alyssa had with Alfie about many of the topics shared in this episode. Voices of your Village: Reward, Punishment, and Behavior Charts with Alfie Kohn: This episode from Alyssa Blask Campbell’s Voices of your Village podcast focuses on Alfie’s perspective on unconditional love and moving away from punishment-reward systems. This podcast is unique in that Alyssa pauses the conversation throughout to offer commentary on the interview which she wasn’t able to express during the original broadcast.
The Teaching Pyramid: This is the website for the Teaching Pyramid, which is an approach that “provides a systematic framework that promotes social and emotional development, provides support for children’s appropriate behavior, prevents challenging behavior, and addresses problematic behavior”.
Positive Discipline Association (PDA): This is the website for PDA, which is an approach that is “designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities”.
Collaborative Emotion Processing Method: An Approach to Emotion Coaching in a Social Constructivist Context: This is the website for the CEP method, an approach that is designed to support emotional processing for young children. CEP is comprised of five components that provide adults with the tools needed to aid children in developing their emotional intelligence (EQ). In this context, EQ is defined as self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills.
Dr. Dan Siegel: This is the website for the New York Times best-selling author, clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA.
- Introduction to Mindsight: This webpage by Dr. Dan Siegel explores the human capacity to perceive the mind of self and others.
Alyssa Blask Campbell, has an M.Ed. in Early Childhood, is a leading expert in emotional development speaking to people around the world, podcast host for Voices of Your Village in over 90 countries, and CEO of Seed & Sew LLC. Alyssa was featured as an emotional development expert in publications such as The Washington Post, Kids VT, and Family Education. After co-creating the CEP method, she researched it across the U.S., and co-authored a book on it (scheduled for publication in 2020). Alyssa’s show up as you are approach welcomes people into her village to get support at all ages and stages, shame free. Her company, Seed & Sew serves people across the globe through speaking, consulting, and podcasting, with tools to build emotional intelligence.
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Laura Fish MS, LMFT is a Marriage and Family Therapist in private practice serving individuals, couples and families to promote healing for lasting change. A former preschool teacher, Laura blends her experience in education with her mental health training to provide workshops for teachers, parents, caregivers and other professionals working with children from infancy through adolescence to develop the mind and the brain in the context of relationships. Laura is passionate about helping adults to “See the Child Behind the Behavior,” as the foundation for promote health and well-being for all.
Shauna Tominey, Ph.D is an Assistant Professor at Oregon State University and serves as the statewide coordinator for the Oregon Parenting Education Collaborative, an initiative to provide high-quality parenting education. As a former early childhood teacher and parenting educator, Shauna blends practical experience with research to develop programs aimed at promoting social-emotional skills for children and adults. She is the author of “Creating Compassionate Kids: Essential Conversations to Have With Young Children.”
